If you are putting yourself for something like if you give towards something then do it by your heart otherwise not. That’s the thing. I think whatever you do in your life there should be a balance and will.
I think in girls the most important thing is to instil confidence. That whatever you are, you are. To believe yourself. Whatever people say it doesn’t matter. For example: If pimple appears on a face so, it’s normal. Because you’re a human, and if it doesn’t appear, so, it is not a human thing. You should never be inglorious of who you are. You should believe in yourself, and if you believe yourself it’s visible to people also, and then they start respecting you. You should not be apologetic about who you are.
Own your personality and do anything you believe, and you shouldn’t care about what other people say. Break the stereotypes that why male protagonist? Why female can’t? You should own your flaws because your flaws and imperfections make you unique. My parents want me to be a strong girl, and they always instil too much confidence in me because you know in our society women needs too much confidence so, that’s why they focus on me a lot. They always left the decision up to me, but they told me to have my priorities to it. I think whatever is written in your luck it just finds you.
One day someone comments a girl that her face is just like their maid. I don’t feel angry at her, but I was upset that is a maid, not a human? What does it mean? If she looks like their maid, is she not beautiful? Why can’t a “maid girl” be beautiful? Because she is working as a maid, she can’t be considered a human and why would be compared to a maid is something offensive? I’m sure a maid works harder than me.
We need to start looking at a bigger picture! Learn to respect everyone, and try not to feel superior to others that are based on such superficial and pointless things. As for me, I’m not something extraordinary. I’m just a normal girl, minding my own business, and trying to live my life. You can not write off someone and consider them inferior in any way based on how much money they make. Because if you don’t speak against these things it is as good as acknowledging it -that exactly you are right, "maids can’t be attractive."
So, if you speak against such things that aren’t good then people will support you and start speaking with you. They should admit that if someone is lower in status or financially disturbed, we should consider them as humans and respect them. Actually, what is status? What’s it? If a woman is earning money with such effort, and struggling for her home then we should appreciate her. I would appreciate her that she is an empowered woman.
Do your work yourself
From my childhood, I was trained that we have to do our work our self. And if someone is working at our house, so he/she is helping us, we shouldn’t be rude to them. I’m responsible for the setup of my wardrobe and cleaning my room. But then I think that I learned all these things from my mom as my parents always believe that we should do our work our self. We should not depend on others for our work. I think it’s from childhood and you have a mindset that your parents built. And according to that, you perceive things, people or the privileges of life.
We are Nothing
Actually, I remember my father once asked me to introduce yourself.
He said: Who are you?
I was like what kind of question are you asking?
He asked again: “who are you?”
I said: Hamna Qasim.
He said:” who?”
I said: I’m studying for o levels.
He said:” But you haven’t completed it yet.”
“What’s your identity?”
I said: I’m your daughter.
He said:” No”
Then he said:” basically you’re nothing.”
So, unless you’re something you should never have a sense of entitlement that I’ve achieved this in my life. We should always work towards contributing to life in this world. First, make your identity, establish yourself then we should think that it’s our right that someone works in our house. So, you should always be thankful, and you shouldn’t think that I’m entitled to this thing.
I believe in equality. If a girl brings a tray then, the boy should also. I think that as much a woman contributes to the household, a man can also contribute that much. It was in old times when a woman sits in the house and she’s financially dependent on the man. But now it’s totally opposite. Everyone is equal, and they can do anything they want.
You should believe in your parents. Whatever they think or decide for you that matters the most. I was never forced to accept their decisions. This process was done logically like whenever it comes to a decision it was like: it’s our opinion if you like it- accept it, and if you don’t like it’s your decision. So, everything is done softly.
Badness depends on how you define it. I wouldn’t say its badness, but it had differences. Every human is different. There is no manual that this is perfect, and this is imperfect. I own myself. I don’t see any flaw in me neither I see any flaw in others. I don’t think you should own arrogance and consider it as confidence. That’s arrogance. If someone does evil things or speaks a lie, it’s habitual and that’s their personality. If someone is doing something, we shouldn’t label someone that he/she’s a liar or bad guy. Instead, we should seize his/her hand from committing a wrong-doing.
There’s no definition of beauty. Beauty is within yourself. Everyone has different hairs, colour complexion, body structure so, these are the things that make you different and unique from one another. Confidence comes when you accept yourself for what you are and after that, whosoever says anything to you, you’re not affected by that.
YOU SHOULD NEVER BE SORRY FOR BEING YOURSELF.
Be fearlessly authentic!
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